this entire shenanigan is one constant metamorphic journey.
1st - a test of intelligence
i was told i passed, although i'm still harsh on myself
2nd - a test on social awkwardness
noticeable change, getting better every day
3rd - a test on physical boundaries
yeah yeah, people are supporting this ethical slut thing now... still hard for me.
4th - a test on proving one self in competition
fake it until you make it still under construction.
5th - a test on self expression
definitely haven't passed this one yet...
6th - now i'm being tested on whether i can distinguish between what i have and what i think i want.
and i'm sure there were many other tests inbetween. which i feel like i haven't been showing my all. i'm like a fucking electron, i can behave one way, but when under observation, i behave entirely differently. i've noticed this even as early as the days of chair tests in band. fucking sucks.
hmmm Dissatisfaction with what you have may reflect dissatisfaction with who you think you are. Outer attractions reflect inner needs. take all you can until it's time to let go...
you are the medium in which i find the inspiration to improve myself...
maybe this really isn't about you. sigh what do i know?
i was told yesterday that my modesty is my worst quality. i guess i aint doing too bad then... but it is definitely hindering
this entire escapade is one constant metamorphic journey.
consisting of a slew of tests resulting in cognitive disequilibrium until a new mindset is reached.
and how unfaltering this has been!
except for my progress which leaps forwards and slips back again.
an ode to uncertainty.
what will be the troubled decree,
resilient mockery,
to claim thee?
Sentence upon sentence,
words are the healing lament.
11:56 p.m. - 2011-07-09
Recent entries:
First cold front of the season - 2014-09-13
Luke Ian Glass - 2013-11-07
The Blind Tiger - 2013-02-23
Thanks Dad. - 2012-04-13
i keep myself from many things, but i think you are the greatest of them all. - 2011-09-06
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